When I was growing up I was taught that to become a successful person I had to get a degree, land a good job and then mold myself into a financial rock for my family.
I graduated in 2008 with a M.A. in Journalism. Since then, I have been employed as a Waiter (several times over), a Bartender, a Restaurant Manager, a Community Manager, a News Editor, a Digital Marketing Specialist, a Travel Writer, a Marketing Director and, finally, as the owner of a small business.
My path wasn’t straight. The road I chose was anything but smooth. But 14 years and nine job titles after obtaining my master’s degree and now I run a marketing agency, make my own hours and bring in a decent buck.
But am I successful?
I’d venture to guess that you, like me, were also told by the people that you have entrusted what it means to be successful. I bet they told you that in order to achieve success you had to get an education, find a decent career and bring home a good salary. Am I right? More importantly, were they right?
Do you feel successful?
What would you say if I told you that my success has absolutely nothing to do with the jobs that I have held, the work that I have done or the money that I have made?
What would you say if I told you that the only reason I started my own business was to break free from a demanding, albeit lucrative corporate career so that I could spend more time properly raising my two young daughters?
And what if I told you that my family, while not hurting financially, cannot afford many of life’s finer things because I choose to be present in their lives rather than to be out chasing the almighty dollar?
Am I successful now?
My family and I live in a modest-sized house; a home that we are fortunate enough to hold 55% equity in. I don’t own any expensive material items other than two guitars that I treasure. I do not drive a fancy car, and I do not belong to a local country club. My wardrobe is old and, in some cases, a little tattered. My youngest is rocking second-hand clothes passed down from her big sister, and we eat boxed mac n’ cheese at least twice a week for dinner. And do you want to know something? I am completely cool with it. All of it.
I may not have a million-dollar salary. I may not drive a Ferrari or even own a boat, but I don’t care.
I am successful.
You see, we have been programmed to believe that success and money are intertwined. What I am telling you is that they are not. And what we have failed to learn, or what our fathers have failed to teach us is that kindness, empathy and being truly present in our lives are attributes that lend themselves to feelings of individual success and fulfillment far more than any bag of literal gold.
You can be rich and miserable. You can be poor and still feel overwhelmingly thankful for your life. Money is not what makes you successful, and money should no longer be the barometer by which we measure the success of others.
I am not successful today because I hold a master’s degree, own my own business and make a decent living. I am successful today because I have a wife who loves me, two little girls who still think I’m a superhero and all the time I need to help them grow up.
I am successful because I am loved. I am loved because I am present. I am present because I understand that nothing on this earth matters more to me than time.
What about you? Are you successful?
