Let’s just call it like it is. Valentine’s Day is the absolute worst. The fakest, most unnecessary, Hallmark-engineered guilt trip of a holiday ever invented. Every year, like clockwork, we all get bombarded with forced romance, overpriced prix-fixe dinners, and commercials telling us that if we don’t buy the biggest teddy bear on the planet, we clearly don’t love our significant other.
I’m not buying it. Literally.
Let’s break this down for what it really is. Valentine’s Day exists to fill the retail void between Christmas and spring. That’s it. You spent too much in December, got a breather in January, and now here comes February like, “Hey, buddy, you know what your relationship really needs? A heart-shaped box of waxy chocolates and some roses that will die in four days.”
And people fall for it. Every. Single. Year.
You know what else bothers me? The performative nature of it all. If you need a marked date on the calendar to tell your partner you love them, you’re already doing it wrong. Love isn’t about grand gestures that get posted on Instagram with some recycled quote about soulmates. It’s about consistency. It’s about showing up every day, not just when Target tells you it’s time to buy a pink-themed gift.
Also, can we talk about how ridiculously expensive everything gets? Suddenly, your normal dinner spot wants $95 per person for a “special romantic experience” that consists of the same pasta dish you got last weekend for half the price. Flowers that usually cost $15 are now $60. And good luck trying to find a decent restaurant reservation if you didn’t plan a month in advance. You might as well just stay home and eat cold pizza, which, honestly, sounds way better anyway.
And don’t get me started on the single people. If you’re in a relationship, you’re basically pressured into playing along in this overpriced charade. If you’re single, you get a whole day dedicated to reminding you that, according to society, you are alone and should feel bad about it. Like, really? We don’t do this for any other holiday. We don’t throw Thanksgiving at people’s faces like, “Oh, what? No family? That’s so sad. Maybe next year.”
Bottom line: Valentine’s Day is a marketing ploy disguised as romance. You don’t need a $200 dinner, a heart-shaped necklace, or some cringe-worthy poetry inside a card to prove you care about someone. You need effort. You need consistency. You need to actually give a shit the other 364 days of the year.
So if you love Valentine’s Day, good for you. Enjoy it. But for the rest of us, we’ll be over here, skipping the overpriced nonsense and drinking discounted champagne on February 15 like real winners.
